Don't Freak Out!

It's Gaff...that means fake!

Please enjoy these items with the intention they're created. It's sideshow gaff, that means they're fake. They are made in my studio and are constructed of artists materials. The gaff is the hook that pulls you in and makes you ask yourself...it isn't real? Or is it?


The Stories

Most sideshow gaff comes with a story. A made up slip of paper with a paragraph or so of gobbly gook. Something funny and intriguing. Newsworthy, but more like The World Weekly News than CNN.

They are antiqued, to look old and worn. Some of my stories are about my uncle, Commander Silas, as he traveled the world in search of oddities. Others are about an old woman who was a kleptomaniac and still others are waiting to be created. I hope you enjoy them.


Ogre's Belly

Button Lint



Last Breath of

a Dying Man



Amazing Top Secret Mind Reading Glasses



Breath of The Sin Eater





*** Why Sideshow Gaff? ***

When I was little the sideshow came to Rochester every year.  My mother always took me and I remember how much fun we had. I started making gaff just recently but I really love it. I have a background in sculpting miniatures so this just came naturally. It has a sense of humor to it and a mystery about it that I can't explain. For those of you who have seen a sideshow you'll know the attraction.  The bed of nails, the bearded lady, the sword swallower, the tattooed man, the giant rat! For those of you who haven't seen one, you don't understand what you're missing.


Meeting The Three Eyed Manevileye2.JPG

One summer when the sideshow was in town mom and me ran into the three eyed man in the supermarket. I was really little and she told me it was rude to stare at him, but he was so nice and stepped up to talk with me. I'll never forget that experience and what the sideshow taught me. We're all the same, really, even if we've got three eyes, swallow swords, or are crazy artists covered with tattoos.




Doctor FrankEnstEins SparE Parts Box

"I mEt thE good doctor FrankEnstEin latE onE Friday EvEning. As wE talkEd wE discovErEd wE had much in common and hE graciously invitEd mE to sEE his franka.JPGlaboratory. At this timE his crEation was just a drEam. Though I mysElf did beliEvE hE had the ability and dEtErmination to makE it work. BEforE I lEft hE gavE mE this bEautiful box as a gift. It had bEEn in his family many, many yEars. I think hE did not rEalizE hE had lEft it full of Extra...parts. "            CommandEr frank3.JPGSilas




 The Severed foot of the Bigfoot

shot at Bluff Creek 1967

bigfootcase.JPGIt was late October 1967. The story around town was the film clip Roger and Bob shot up at Bluff Creek. Some folks believed it was real, others said it was a fake. But my buddy Jim was bound and determined to prove it one way or the other. He headed up there, rifles loaded. To him eight hours ta' get there. We didn't hear from him for days. But then he was here, standin' on my front porch, wavin' this giant foot in my face and yellin' 'bout how it was proof Bigfoot really exists. 

Wilbur Whitley Jr.









The Bigfoot's foot is actual size. Over 16 inches long. Even the bottom looks real. It was custom made for an avid Bigfoot fan who actually knew the men who shot the famous Patterson-Gimlin film.












Pickled Pig Boy





 Severed Ear

It was 1939 and I had just married my high school sweetheart. He told me he was going away on business. I had no idea he was a spy. Imagine my surprise when I received this letter that he had been captured. I cried for weeks. One year later I received a package. There was no return address but inside was his ear. this small piece of him I have kept with me all these years. It is in the heart shaped box he gave to me the night we were engaged.



Blood Sucking Leeches...Alive?

When I was little there was a scary old woman that lived down the street. We used to think that she fed small children to the leeches that lived in her pond. One night we were seeking around her property and we found this jar sitting by the pond. She must have been out collecting them to terrorize people with. They've been living in this jar since 1960. It looks to me like leeches2.JPGthey're still alive, but I'm not breaking the wax seal to find out. I can see blood particles that have fallen to the bottom and their little sucker  mouths are ready to latch on to the first human they can find.




baby1.JPGHuman Baby Discovered

in Egg

I was making scrambled eggs early one morning when I cracked open this egg. I almost passed out from shock when I looked inside and there was a human baby. He looks perfect, even has a little hair on his head. He doesn't seem to cry much and is satisfied to sleep quietly in his little egg. I hope someone out there will adopt him as their own and raise him well. Such a sweet little boy.


Monkey Skull Shrine

monkeyskull1.JPGAfter the ceremony the skull would be decorated with bits of fur, fabric, crystals, feathers and string. The skull would then be placed on the alter and be considered a prized possession. An offemonkeyskull2.JPGring would be left near it everday.




Flying Vampire Monkey

A customer said...

"How did I ever live without one."

"In Papua New Guinea we discovered a cave so deep men who lived there would not enter. We did not heed their warnings. As we descended the smell became like death. Suddenly we were surrounded by flying vvampiremonkey1.JPGampire monkeys. They were too small and fast to shoot, so we turned and ran. When we reached daylight we discovered one of our men had a monkey hanging from his neck, fangs deep in a vein. We found a small stake and ran it through his heart. He appears to be dead but the locals still warn, NEVER LET HIM LOOSE AND NEVER, EVER FEED HIM A DROP OF BLOOD!"

Commander Silas






Dragon's Eye

To  be the owner of the dragon's eye is to be the host to great power. For centuries kings and warriors have fought for it, longing to behold its great beauty, craving its ability to provide unparalleled strength, energy and vitality. Gaze into it and your soul will absorb the power of the dragon, a beast more mighty than any other in all the universe.






Cyclops Captured Alive!!!!